It’s time for Week 7! Yippee! The festivities get kicked off tonight, when…*looks at schedule*…oh god, the Patriots host the Jets? Dammit, Thursday Night Football!
We had a tie last week, which throws a wrench into the scoring system for our weekly picks. Thanks a lot, Mike Nugent. Both Kevin Roberts and I picked the Bengals to beat the Panthers, and, while we were technically wrong, we weren’t totally wrong. So, I’m scoring that as nothing. As if it didn’t even exist. Considering it was a tie, the game need not have even been played in the first place.
So, as a result, we finished with identical 10-4 records last week, with Kevin successfully calling the Cowboys’ win in Seattle. For the season, I still hold my narrow lead of 61-28 to 57-32. All together now: Suck it, Bobs!
On to this week.
New York Jets (1-5) @ New England Patriots (4-2)
Kevin Roberts: Patriots – If the Jets win this game it’s just proof that Thursday Night Football is the worst thing ever. EVER.
Taylor Smith: Patriots – Maybe if this game were in New York the Jets would have a prayer? Maybe? I’m grasping here. These shitty TNF games are karma for CBS giving us double the Phil Simms this year. Bastards.
Atlanta Falcons (2-4) @ Baltimore Ravens (4-2)
Kevin: Ravens – If I had any confidence in a road team version of the Falcons, I still wouldn’t pick them.
Taylor: Ravens – Good lord, Atlanta. You are terrible.
Tennessee Titans (2-4) @ Washington Redskins (1-5)
Kevin: Redskins – Charlie Whitehurst is probably playing. That’s good for the Redskins, no?
Taylor: Redskins – *lights schedule on fire again*
Seattle Seahawks (3-2) @ St. Louis Rams (1-4)
Kevin: Seahawks – Fine, I won’t pick the Seahawks to get upset this week.
Taylor: Seahawks – Not sure which happened faster between people jumping off the Kirk Cousins bandwagon and people jumping off the Austin Davis bandwagon.
Cleveland Browns (3-2) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (0-6)
Kevin: Browns – I also won’t pick the Jaguars to win this week. Watch both happen.
Taylor: Browns – This should be a rookie showdown between John Football and Bort, but noooooo. The Browns had to go and be good. Dicks.
Cincinnati Bengals (3-1-1) @ Indianapolis Colts (4-2)
Kevin: Colts – Indy is red hot. Andrew Luck has like a thousand yards every game. It’s cray.
Taylor: Colts – This pains me, but my faith in the Bengals has waned considerably.
Minnesota Vikings (2-4) @ Buffalo Bills (3-3)
Kevin: Bills – Buffalo needs to get CJ Spiller involved more. Also, the Vikings suck.
Taylor: Bills – I really have no idea how the Vikings have won two games. Good lord, Atlanta.
Miami Dolphins (2-3) @ Chicago Bears (3-3)
Kevin: Bears – Chicago for their first home win of the year. That’s insane.
Taylor: Bears – Ryan Tannehill stares down his receivers like Russell Westbrook stares down Kevin Durant’s MVP trophy. And you’re damn right I’m just using that excuse to post that photo.
New Orleans Saints (2-3) @ Detroit Lions (4-2)
Kevin: Lions – Detroit has the league’s best defense. Eat that, Brees.
Taylor: Lions – I don’t really trust the Lions to keep this up, but whatever. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL.
Carolina Panthers (3-2-1) @ Green Bay Packers (4-2)
Kevin: Packers – Cam and the read option could be a problem but the Panthers suck too much to win this.
Taylor: Panthers – Really making a reach here thinking Carolina can win at Lambeau but like he just said, the Packers are clueless when it comes to stopping QBs from running all over them.
Kansas City Chiefs (2-3) @ San Diego Chargers (5-1)
Kevin: Chiefs – I love what I’m seeing from the Bolts but I’m tempering my expectations here. Implosion coming?
Taylor: Chargers – As a San Diegan that doesn’t really give an eff about the Chargers, am I allowed to jump on the wagon?
Arizona Cardinals (4-1) @ Oakland Raiders (0-5)
Kevin: Cardinals – The Cards are fairly legit. If the Raiders get their first win here I quit.
Taylor: Cardinals – Sooooo tempted to pick the Raiders after they looked pretty good last week, but I can’t bring myself to do it. PALMY’S REVENGE.
New York Giants (3-3) @ Dallas Cowboys (5-1)
Kevin: Cowboys – Dallas is also legit, but the Giants are really good at sucking and then being elite, so yeah.
Taylor: Cowboys – 6-1 Dallas Cowboys does not compute.
San Francisco 49ers (4-2) @ Denver Broncos (4-1)
Kevin: Broncos – I’m sure the Niners have it in them to get the upset but if Willis is out they’re toast.
Taylor: Broncos – Peyton doesn’t do a lot of losing in Denver. Or anywhere.
Houston Texans (3-3) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (3-3)
Kevin: Texans – This oddly should be a shootout, but I trust the Steelers’ defense slightly less.
Taylor: Texans – I think the Steelers are going to win this game, but I’m a sorry homer. The Steelers are pretty much trash, though.
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