Big Ben

The Harvest Moon came and went. Friday the 13th came and went, with hopefully no sightings of black cats. The scariest month in our year is more than halfway over.

That means it’s time to get your costumes ready, bags of candy bought, liquor prepared for the party and it’s time to sit down and watch The Babadook.

However, if scary movies aren’t your thing, then don’t watch The Babadook. Also, here’s a little Halloween fun to get everyone in the spirit while still reading about our favorite hobby, fantasy football.

A little awards show with six different and spooktacular awards.

The Eat Your Brains Award goes to…

Adrian Peterson – RB – ARI: With three zombies trapped in a locked stairwell of a hospital. With a sign that reads “Dead Inside DO NOT OPEN”. You realize that you can’t jump from the seventh story and the elevator is not going to work in the post-apocalyptic world. So you have to take the stairs. As you break it open here comes the three zombies running straight for you. Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram’s zombies burst out of the door for a combined 189 yards and two touchdowns. Yet, you’ve fended them off and the final zombie comes hurling towards you. Adrian Peterson, who after the door was opened, reminded everyone why he was top zombie on the block, rushing for 134 yards and two scores in his Arizona debut. This zombies fast, strong and has a chip on his shoulder. There’s no escaping this one and that is why Peterson wins the “Eat Your Brains Award”.

Best Pumpkin Carver Award goes to…

Deshaun Watson – QB – HOU: Pumpkin carving dates back hundreds of years, starting in Ireland. Where they actually carved turnips on All Hallows’ Eve. The tradition was brought to America and the rest is history. Watson started carving early, and I’m not talking about carving pumpkins, but carving up defenses. Through college all Watson did was win. Upsets on the biggest stages headlined his career at Clemson. Now in the NFL, Watson continues to be electric, smart and the best at carving up defenses. His speed and mobility demand at least one eye from all eleven players on defense. His arm strength and accuracy demands you stay on top of the players you’re guarding. So how do you do both? You can’t. Watson will carve an eye in the defense and while they go to put that piece back in, Watson is already carving the other eye. Followed by a nose and a mouth, and before you know it your defense looks like a jack-o-lantern. There’s more holes than you know what to do with. The defense is left wandering the field like a herd of zombies. That is why Watson will be going home today with this award.

The Best Party Award goes to…

The Entire Kansas City Chiefs Offense: Whatever type of “Ginger Ale” they’re serving in Kansas City, I will also have some. Sure, they’ve lost two straight games and their offense struggled against Pittsburgh. But we knew that’d be a playoff-type game, as I mentioned earlier. Plus, even in the loss to Oakland, their offense was lighting it up and is by far the most entertaining team to watch. From the opening game to the latest, gut-wrenching, shootout loss, the Chiefs have posted 40+ points twice and 24+ points in every game, except in the loss to Pittsburgh. Head Coach, Andy Reid, has this offense firing on all cylinders. Hunt has strived as a feature back and Tyreek Hill seems to have only gotten faster. Smith looks like he embraced all of the questions that came along with drafting a quarterback in the 1st round, and focused all of that to become a better quarterback himself. Albeit, after two straight losses the party seems to be losing some guests. The music seems quieter, the keg feels light and the whiskey bottle is on it’s final drop. I’m curious to see how Kansas City Chiefs party bounces back after a quick beer run.

The Lurking in the Shadows Award goes to…

RB – Jamaal Charles – DEN: Maybe I made this award up just so I had a chance to write about the backup running back in Denver. Charles is ranked 10th in the league in yards created per carry. To give you a better understanding, it’s the yards created after the first evaded tackle. Also, though his attempts may have decreased, his yards per attempt were increasing every game, until last week against the Giants. C.J. Anderson always runs frantically away from the injury bug, but somehow runs directly into it. So when the inevitable happens, you know who’s next in line? Someone a lot of America has forgotten about, but will be reminded quickly, Jamaal Charles.

The Here’s a Butterscotch and Box of Raisins Award goes to…

QB – Ben Roethlisberger – PIT: The elder family on the block growing up always gave the worst Halloween candy. A butterscotch from the bottom of the ladies worn down purse. Some Necco Wafers and Candy Buttons that end up being traded to your younger siblings in a another uneven trade that proved your dominance. Roethlisberger, is looking like a grandpa in this league. He may not be the oldest starting quarterback, but with all the bumps and bruises he’s taken on the way, Roethlisberger seems to be fading. A five interception game, will likely never happen again, in his career. Roethlisberger won last week in a brutal, playoff-type atmosphere. But, he still showed that he isn’t his normal self. He’s looked inaccurate and slow since week one. Waiting for him to find the fountain of youth is testing my new father-like patience.

The TP / Egg Award goes to…

Terrelle Pryor – WR – WAS: This award has two different meanings and yet both are destined for Pryor. Either look at this award like, Pryor is making a mess all over our houses, or fantasy teams. TPing and egging every square inch of our nicely built fantasy squad. Now, I’m debating week after week if I should leave Pryor in my lineup, is the exact opposite of what I wanted to do when drafting the early round receiver. Or this award can be seen as Pryor is an egg or a piece of toilet paper. He’s averaging 3.2 receptions per game and has only hit double-digit fantasy points once this season. It seems he doesn’t have the connection with quarterback Kirk Cousins just yet, which is scary, since we are in week 7 of the NFL. If he doesn’t regain his mojo quick, he’s going to cover many fantasy owners with a carton of eggs and a roll of toilet paper.

About The Author Nick Faber

Nick is an avid fantasy footballer and avid sports follower from Detroit, Michigan. He hosts the Ten in the Head video podcast which can be found at facebook.com/teninthehead.